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Perfectionism

"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor"
                                                        -Anne Lamott

I criticize myself a lot.  I often think about things that I've messed up, or think I've possibly messed up.  This morning, I was overwhelmed by thinking about all the things that I do wrong, and I caught myself and tried to start thinking of things that I do well.

Crickets.

I couldn't think of a single one. And since I know that there must be some things that I do well on any given day, I know that my perception must be skewed. I'm focusing 100% on the things that I mess up and not at all on things that I do well.

I think I might be a perfectionist. This surprises me because I'm not super detail oriented all the time, I hand in essays that I know could be polished more, my bed is often unmade, and a messy kitchen bothers me far less than it bothers Jake. But I am afraid to do anything that I think I'm going to mess up. I often don't want to post here because I'm afraid it is going to be crappy. I think this is its own kind of perfectionism. I think I need to realize that pretty much nothing I ever do will ever be perfect, but that doesn't mean that I can't do things well.

Comments

  1. UnknownJuly 10, 2012 at 5:14 PM

    I have similar issues of perfectionism in some areas but not others. I have a bad tendency to catastrophize my own actions - I do or say something that I don't think is up to standard and it devolves into "I SUCK AT LIFE." But it's not helpful to think that way, so I'm trying to stop it.

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  2. LauraJuly 24, 2012 at 6:25 AM

    Steph,

    I totally relate to this as well. It is weird the things I am a perfectionist about. I am working on a "one pager" for work right now, a summary of what we've discussed so far about a project and it is taking me DAYS to write it. One page. I am worried about failing, but even as I worry I know it is silly. It doesn't need to be perfect. And yet....

    Laura

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