"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor"
-Anne Lamott
I criticize myself a lot. I often think about things that I've messed up, or think I've possibly messed up. This morning, I was overwhelmed by thinking about all the things that I do wrong, and I caught myself and tried to start thinking of things that I do well.
Crickets.
I couldn't think of a single one. And since I know that there must be some things that I do well on any given day, I know that my perception must be skewed. I'm focusing 100% on the things that I mess up and not at all on things that I do well.
I think I might be a perfectionist. This surprises me because I'm not super detail oriented all the time, I hand in essays that I know could be polished more, my bed is often unmade, and a messy kitchen bothers me far less than it bothers Jake. But I am afraid to do anything that I think I'm going to mess up. I often don't want to post here because I'm afraid it is going to be crappy. I think this is its own kind of perfectionism. I think I need to realize that pretty much nothing I ever do will ever be perfect, but that doesn't mean that I can't do things well.
I have similar issues of perfectionism in some areas but not others. I have a bad tendency to catastrophize my own actions - I do or say something that I don't think is up to standard and it devolves into "I SUCK AT LIFE." But it's not helpful to think that way, so I'm trying to stop it.
ReplyDeleteSteph,
ReplyDeleteI totally relate to this as well. It is weird the things I am a perfectionist about. I am working on a "one pager" for work right now, a summary of what we've discussed so far about a project and it is taking me DAYS to write it. One page. I am worried about failing, but even as I worry I know it is silly. It doesn't need to be perfect. And yet....
Laura